Jose is really ticked off. He comes to you with a serious problem about his department's overtime. What's especially troubling is that he'd wanted to talk to you about it before.
"I've been trying to tell you about this for two weeks!" Jose announces.
Meanwhile you're straining to remember the last two weeks of conversations with Jose and you realize that he has come to your office several times. But each time the conversation started with questions about your families and the kids' pets or their schools, and went from there. You can't remember him saying one word about overtime. Part of you wants to throw up your hands and demand to know why he never brought it up.
Discussion
This could be related to personal style; it could be cultural. Numerous cultures have a style that emphasizes relationships first, and acts to care for relationships as a part of doing business.
Regardless of the reasons, the pattern of his behavior shows that he tends to put relationships first. If someone comes in that has demonstrated this behavior before, go ahead and ask how long he thinks the meeting could be.
Then keep track of the time a little more closely. Talk freely with him about family, kids, and anything else. Check in halfway through the meeting, note how much time you have left and say, "We have so much time left; is there some work-related issue we should talk about?" Or ask, "How is your job going? Is there anything I can do to make you more successful in your job?"
The point is you have to shift the conversation. And you need to take this opportunity to figure out how to make this person happy in his job.
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