Your employee, Dawn, doesn't like working with Phil and everyone knows it. She doesn't talk to him at meetings, she avoids him around the office, and she's been overheard saying she doesn't trust Black people. You know you have to deal with this, so you sit down with Dawn and tell her what you've seen and heard.
Dawn tells you her story. She was a Cambodian refugee. During the Vietnam War her mother was killed by a Black soldier. She apologizes for the way she's been treating Phil, but says she can't help it.
What do you do or say?
Discussion
Acknowledge that's a terrible thing to happen to anyone. Take time to express sympathy, and that you can understand better, now that you know what's happened to her.
Now, say, "as your manager, I need you to do something that may be very difficult for you. Since we're renting your behavior, we need you to concentrate on your behavior. These issues seem deeply rooted. The best I can suggest is counseling, because as your manager, I'm no counselor. In the meantime, at work, you need to act toward Phil as you would anyone else. In this case you will probably need to 'act your way into a new way of thinking', rather than change your mind first."
Remember. A manager in this situation cannot and should not play counselor or therapist. You can make recommendations and you can establish clear guidelines of appropriate behavior at work.
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